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11 April 2009 @ 09:10 pm
Hurt/Comfort-Meme  
A while ago, I promised you a comment-fic-meme as soon as we reached 100 members. And here it is!

Teh Rulez
01. Comment to this post with your prompt and desired pairing(s). Be as specific or unspecific as you like.
For example: "Sam, Dean (gen): hypothermia" or "Jared/Jensen: Jared gets hurt on set, Rating: at least R" or "Dean/Castiel: Castiel comforts Dean after a nightmare"
If you are unsure about a certain pairing or prompt, please go to our profile and read the general rules or ask in our FAQs
02. Post as many prompts as you like - but one prompt per comment only, please!
03. If you find a prompt that strikes your fancy, jump in and write some comment fic for the prompt poster
04. More than one comment fic response to a prompt is absolutely acceptable. (There is no such thing as too much hurt/comfort!)
05. Tell your friends to tell their friends to come and join the fun, add a prompt, write a fic and leave some love for the authors! ^___^
06. Play nice - no flames, no bashing is allowed here! If I see a rude comment to a prompt or a fic repsonse, I'll delete it without further warning.
07. Please no spam-comments and please don't ask questions about the meme here - use the FAQs-post. =)

And most important of all: Have lots of fun - make them bleed, make them cry, make them argue and most of all: let them hug and cuddle to make it all better! ;)


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Masterlist of fics:
lissa_ann : [Dean, Sam (gen): Teen!Sam gets roofied, big brother Dean to the rescue]
shadowofcastiel : [Dean/Castiel (slash, PG-13): Castiel hugs an agitated, distressed Dean]
9_of_clubs : [Dean/Castiel. Castiel gets punished for bending the rules to help Dean]
sinnerforhire : [Sam, Dean: Chickenpox]
authoressnebula : [Sam, Dean (gen), Post 4.18, Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen): Teen!Sam spends some time at a camp while Dean and John are on a hunting trip. One night, exhausted!hurt!Dean sneaks into the camp to check on his little brother]
indigominstrels :  [JDM/Jensen/Jared: Jensen gets a very bad news from his family and won't eat for days. Jared and JDM get worried and don't want Jensen to be sick on top of it all]
persuna : [Gen. Sam gets hurt trying to save one of the seals. Protective!Dean and protective!Castiel]
blualbino : [Dean/Fallen!Castiel: Castiel gets his first dose of human illness and Dean has to take care of him]
maychorian : [Dean, Castiel (gen) - Little!Dean gets hurt somehow and his "guardian angel" Castiel comforts him]
blualbino [Sam, Dean (gen): After 4.18 TMATEOTS Dean reads Chuck's Mystery Spot book and finally gets the full story]
tahirire : [Sam, Pamela: AU of 4.01 or other S4 episode. Pamela can see Sam's strife and comforts Sam.]
charlie_d_blue : [Gen: A demon has a grudge against Castiel (maybe for his role in getting Dean saved, or in killing Alistair). Sam and Dean arrive in time to save their angel, but there's repair & comfort needed, of course]
sinnerforhire : [Dean, Sam (gen) - Dean gets hurt (breaks leg) and Sam has to carry him, much to Dean's dismay]
Anonymous
: [Sam, Dean (gen): Post BUaBS. Sam wakes up, middle of the road, middle of the night, middle of nowhere. Dean's run the tank bone dry]
atimi : [Jared/Jensen: Jensen + sunstroke + worried!Jared]
schwarze_elster : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean falls down a hole in a cemetery. Sammy helps his big brother]
fhionnuiscetine :   [Sam (gen): what happened to Sam while Dean was in hell]
violet_eyes : [J2: Somehow the boys end up in the middle of a bank robbery and being taken hostage. Jared gets shot. Lots of angst ensues]
autumn_lilacs : [Bobby, Dean, gen. In early Season 2, the Impala is still in terrible shape. The car, she is hurt. The car, she needs comfort. Dean and Bobby provide]
rei17 :   [Dean, Sam (gen) - Dean gets hurt (breaks leg?) and Sam has to carry him, much to Dean's dismay]
parislove27 : [Sam, Dean (gen) - Dean passes out of the wheel of the Impala]
i_speak_tongue : [Dean, Sam (Gen): Dean saves a cat from a flooded storm water drain. Gets cold, wet and scratched up for his troubles; Sam tries not to laugh whilst patching him up]
hope_calaris : [Sam, Dean (gen): One of the guys has a health scare, the other worries and comforts]
ginzai :  [Sam, Dean, Bobby (gen): Bobby is severely injured helping the boys, the boys have to figure out how to save him for once. Bonus points for extremely protective boys]
blualbino :  [J2 or Sam, Dean: During workout/sports/training/messing around one of the boys accidentally hurts the other.]
blueeyedliz : [Jared/Jensen: Jared gets attacked by a stranger and Jensen finds him afterwards]
fhionnuiscetine : [Sam experiences extreme emotional distress after discovering that their fangirls think he's a necropheliac. Dean confronts this problem with his Righteous Brotherly Rage(TM)]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen) - Sam comforts Dean for a change, making sure he knows he's worth it]
tripoli : [Sam (gen): what happened to Sam while Dean was in hell]
ginzai : [Dean, John (gen): Stanford-era, Sam is gone and Dean sleeps too little and eats too little and John doesn't realize how much he suffers until Dean gets sick/hurt]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen): Unhinged, tied up Sam with a side order of badass protective Dean please]
i_speak_tongue : [Sam, Dean, John (Gen): Dean stops eating for days on end for reasons unknown and Sam has to get his big bro to eat again]
tir_synni :  [J2: Jensen gets bitten by a (poisonous) snake, location unimportant. Jared to the rescue!]
maychorian : [Wee!Dean, John, Mary: Dean vs Wasps]
blualbino : [Dean/Fallen!Castiel: Castiel gets his first dose of human illness and Dean has to take care of him]
blue_icy_rose : [Sam and Dean (Gen) - Season 4. The boys wind up in trouble on a case (doesn't matter how). Sam saves Dean at the cost of his own chance to get away, and winds up in danger. Dean comes to the rescue]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen): Sam and Dean get accidentally trapped somewhere (on set or during a hunt) and one of the guys freaks out and gets a panic attack]
hope_calaris : [Sam (gen): what happened to Sam while Dean was in hell]
a_starfish : [Sam and Dean or Sam/Dean, immediately pre-Stanford. Dean can't really take this. He's falling apart thinking about what's about to happen to his family. Enter Sam]
sinnerforhire : [Sam, Dean, Jess: Sam as a modern Cassandra--sane or insane, real or imagined.]
maychorian : [Stanford era Dean and Bobby, gen. Dean gets injured (I ain't particular on this) and Bobby's the one who has to patch him up]
fhionnuiscetine : [S1, please, with Sam cleaning Dean up and badgering him about the scars received while he was at Stanford?]
blualbino : [Sam and Dean or Sam/Dean. Sam's first attempt at losing his virginity (to either gender) goes drastically wrong. Dean makes it better]
woodsbaile_02 : [Jared/Jensen: Jensen + sunstroke + worried!Jared] [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
blueeyedliz : [J2: Jared suffers from a chronic illness (asthma, diabetes ... ). Worried!Jensen ensues]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean(gen): Set sometime in season four. Sam has a fever and Dean is taking care of him. Sam also tells his brother he thinks Dean doesn't love him anymore, and Dean convinces him otherwise]
tir_synni : [Kripke, Jensen (gen): sick!Jensen and worried!Kripke, who gives top priority to his star's well-being.]
tir_synni : [Dean, John(gen): Both Dean and his father are injured on a hunt, and Dean tends to the other first and neglects his own wounds, causing complications later]
roque_clasique : [Sam, Dean - Sam gets a bad haircut. Dean to the rescue. Sam only ever lets Dean cut his hair from then on]
roque_clasique : [Sam, Dean (gen): Post BUaBS. Sam wakes up, middle of the road, middle of the night, middle of nowhere. Dean's run the tank bone dry]
roque_clasique : [John,Dean,Sam(Gen):Dean hurts his shoulder]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean(gen): A curse stops Sam from sleeping, ever.]
embroiderama : [Sam/Jess: Sam gets hurt at Stanford for some reason when he's with his friends, far from a doctor, and he stitches himself up/sets his own bones, and his friends are all WOAH SAM HOW'D YOU GET SO BADASS and he's all *SHRUG*]
roque_clasique :  [Dean, Sam (gen or wincest): Set in S2, Sam passes out during a vision]
rosestoo : [Sam and Dean (Gen). A curse stops Sam from sleeping, ever]
maychorian : [Sam, Dean (Gen) Dean goes missing during a hunt, Sam find him days later dazed and confused]
roque_clasique : [Jensen, Jared (Gen) : Jensen takes Jared's dogs for a walk, and Harley/Sadie gets attacked by another dog. Jensen gets bitten pulling them apart. Jared yells at him for doing something so stupid, but is also super grateful to him for saving his dog]
sexynarwhal : [Dean, Sam (gen): Dean is de-aged and for some reason they can't change him back for awhile. Meanwhile a nasty gets wind of Dean's vulnerability, and he is kidnapped and moderately mistreated + PTSD!Dean]
i_speak_tongue : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean gets sick during a hunt but keeps insisting he is fine. Only he is ... not]
roque_clasique : [Dean, Sam (gen): Dean on strong painkillers gets loopy and clingy, telling the nurses how much he loves his brother and not wanting Sammy to ever leave him, stuff like that - and yes, Sam is totally allowed to make fun of him afterwards]
cream_fudge : [Dean, Sam, gen, S1-4: Dean hurts his hands or his arms and can't use them and Sam has to feed him and shave him and tuck him in and tie his sneakers and button up his little flannel shirts]
sinnerforhire : [Dean, Sam, John (gen): Dean is hiding that a lingering cold has turned into pneumonia to go on a hunt in the middle of a howling storm]
tcs1121 : [Dean can sense the tension in the months before Sam leaves for Stanford, and he starts smoking heavily. Heh. Sam tries to get him to quit]
maychorian : [Teen!chesters -- Dean is badly injured on a hunt (broken leg/s a huge bonus) but still has to go to high school 'cause he's a senior and needs to graduate, and Sam keeps an eye out for him...]
uhzoomzip : [Jensen/jared - Jensen has appendicitis and collapses in the middle of a scene]
july_july_july : [Dean, John (gen): Teen!Dean is allowed to accompany John and another hunter on a hunt. The hunter keeps putting Dean down. In the end he is careless and does something stupid, so Dean gets hurt himself while protecting him. Featuring angry!scary!badass!John who rips the hunter a new one for putting his sons life in danger]
rei17 :  [Sam, Dean (gen): Narcoleptic!Dean], [Part 2+3]
momentine : [Teen!Dean drops acid (accidentally or on purpose) and has a bad trip, and Sammy has to talk him down off the roof of their house/apartment...]
hope_calaris : [J2: First time is a disaster (every possible accident is fine but nothing remotely non-con or dub-con, please!)]
deluweil : [J2: Jared realizes something's wrong with Jensen when Harley and Sadie wake him up in the middle of the night ...]
Maxine: [J2- in the middle of a scene jensen is stabbed in the stomach with a real knife instead of a prop]             
a_starfish : [Erratically driving the impala crazy/concussed Sam, with pursuing in another car Dean]
roque_clasique : [Teen!Dean drops acid (accidentally or on purpose) and has a bad trip, and Sammy has to talk him down off the roof of their house/apartment...]
iniq : [Stanford era Dean and Bobby, gen. Dean gets injured (I ain't particular on this) and Bobby's the one who has to patch him up], [Part 2 (slash!) ]
sinnerforhire : [Sam, Dean (gen) - Dean has a seizure]
july_july_july : [Sam/Jess. Sam gets homesick at Stanford. He can't tell Jess any details, but he's hurt and she's comforting]
ariadnes_string : [J2: Jared is off doing promo work for Friday the 13th while Jensen stays behind to film. Extra long days and no Jared means no sleep for Jensen and he gets sick]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean (Gen or Wincest) - S4. Sam starts to sleep way more than usual. Cue worried Dean]
audleyssecret : [J2: Jensen has a very strong headache while filming a scene of Supernatural. He almost faints so the Director tells him to go take a nap in his trailer. Jared takes care of him]
july_july_july : [Dean, Sam, John (gen): Dean is hiding that a lingering cold has turned into pneumonia to go on a hunt (possibly following Sam and/or John without them knowing?) in the middle of a howling storm]
bellatemple : [Narcoleptic!Dean], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
lissa_ann :   [Sam, Dean (gen): Post 4.18, Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months. He doesn't want to go darkside, and believes he will because of Dean's comment about it], [Part 2], [Part 3]
sinnerforhire : [J2: Jensen's in a car accident. Jared tries to make him feel better]
saberivojo : [Sam, Dean (gen): Teen!Sam spends some time at a camp while Dean and John are on a hunting trip. One night, exhausted!hungry!(maybe even hurt)Dean sneaks into the camp to check on his little brother], [Part 2], [Part 3]
july_july_july : [Dean, Sam, Castiel; PTSD!Castiel or traumatized!Castiel, maybe as a result of torture, rape, I dunno. Taken in and cared for]
saralikeme : [RPS - Jared or Jensen gets a bad stomach bug and tries to keep it a secret so shooting doesn't get delayed]
tir_synni : [Dean, Sam, John: AU after first season's car crash. The YED is dead, John didn't make the deal. But after Dean wakes up from the coma he's not the same as before (might be PTSD, physical or mental disabilities or he's in need of constant treatmeant due to some injuries, stuff like that). I'd love to read something where Sam, Dean and John settle down somewhere and try to find a way back into a normal life]
fhionnuiscetine : [Sam, Dean (gen): Set sometime in season four. Sam has a fever and Dean is taking care of him. Sam also tells his brother he thinks Dean doesn't love him anymore, and Dean convinces him otherwise]
dodger_winslow : [Bobby and John, gen. John is injured on a hunt and Bobby knows that he has to get him back to his boys]
fhionnuiscetine : [Sam, Dean, Jess (gen, het): AU (obviously), Jess gets hit on rather aggressively. Protective!Sam&Dean, please]
riverbella : [Dean, Sam, John (gen): Dean loses an eye and has to re-learn hunting stuff with his new, altered depth perception]
embroiderama : [John, Dean, Sam (gen): John gets a call from school, that one of his boys got hurt/passed out during class ...], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
maychorian : [Dean, John (gen): Teen!Dean (16-18-ish) is allowed to accompany John and another hunter on a hunt. The hunter keeps putting Dean down. In the end the other dude is careless and does something stupid, so Dean gets hurt himself while protecting him. I really want angry!scary!badass!John who rips the hunter a new one for putting his sons life in danger]
i_speak_tongue : [Dean, Sam, gen, S1-4: Dean hurts his hands or his arms and can't use them and Sam has to feed him and shave him and tuck him in and tie his sneakers and button up his little flannel shirts], [Part 2]. [Part 3]. [Part 4a]. [Part 4b]
Maxine: [Dean is de-aged (physically) but even though his mind is still his, his body is a kid’s and he needs a nap. Sam attempts to convince him of this; Dean is NOT impressed. But in the end he falls asleep on Sam's shoulder anyway]
sinnerforhire : [J2: Feverish Jensen, Nightmare Jensen, Jared comforts him]
ariadnes_string : [Dean, Sam, Castiel (gen): Dean has a fever or a concussion and thinks he's back in hell. Sam and Castiel have to look after him and try and talk him through it]
deluweil : [J2: Jensen and Jared are in a bar to see Chris and Steve on stage, when a fight starts not very far from Jensen and he gets caught in it and gets hurt]
audleyssecret : [J2: Jensen and Jared are in a bar to see Chris and Steve on stage, when a fight starts not very far from Jensen and he gets caught in it and gets hurt]
tir_synni : [Dean, John (gen): Dean loses an eye and has to re-learn hunting stuff with his new, altered depth perception], [Part 2], [Part 3]
Maxine:  [J2:Jensen has a punctured or collapsed lung]
iniq : [J2: Asthmatic!Jensen]
rosestoo : [Sam, Dean (Gen): If your sister or your brother were stumbling on their last mile ~ in a self-inflicted exile]
tripoverhercats : [Dean, Bobby (gen): Pre series : Dean is hunting solo. Sam is at school, not returning his calls, Dad has gone off the grid as well. A big bad gets Dean in the forest, and he knows he is dying -- it's a dangerous gig, but he calls Bobby because he doesn't want to check out alone]
tir_synni : [J2 : Jensen has some kind of ailment that ends up being exacerbated by plane travel. Bring on the in-air hurt/comfort]
woodsbaile_02 : [J2: ared realizes something's wrong with Jensen when Harley and Sadie wake him up in the middle of the night ...], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
sg2009: [Dean, Sam (gen): Dean is de-aged and for some reason they can't change him back for awhile. Meanwhile a nasty gets wind of Dean's vulnerability, and he is kidnapped and moderately mistreated, PTSD!Dean]
theditor : [J2: Jensen has an allergic reaction to something on set & goes into anaphylactic shock & almost dies in Jared's arms]
faye_dartmouth : [Sam, John, Pastor Jim (gen): Ten-year-old Sammy wakes up in the backseat of the Impala to find the car in the ditch; John trapped, bloody and out-of-his-head-confused in the front seat; and the passenger door hanging open with Dean nowhere to be found]
no_apologies_86 : [Sam, Dean (gen): After 4.18 TMATEOTS Dean reads Chuck's Mystery Spot book and finally gets the full story. Because it's never too late for surprise!Mystery Spot codas], [Part 2]
tir_synni : [Sam, Dean (gen) : Weechesters. A training session ends badly when Sam gets hurt trying to meet John's expectations]
geminigrl11 : [Dean, Sam, Castiel (gen): Apocalypse/War timeframe. Dean and Sam have been separated (by choice, Angelic intervention, what-have-you) for weeks when Dean, seemingly randomly, finds Sam in an abandoned church, bloody and half-insane from trauma]
rei17 : [Sam, Dean (gen): girl!Dean, Sam Sam's sister gets hurt and it's the first time he realizes just how fragile his sister really is]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean (gen):Weechesters - Sam is poisoned by a bite he receives from a supernatural creature during a hunt. Dean to the rescue]    
katriel1987 : [Sam, Dean (gen): Exhausted-to-the-point-of collapse Dean]
uhzoomzip : [Dean, Sam, post 4.16: Dean’s in the hospital and not getting better as fast as he should be due to medical complications/a way overdue emotional breakdown/whatever, and Sam is kind of scarily protective of him and intimidates all the staff/pretty angels]
roque_clasique : [Dean, John, (gen): Dean in traction. Multiple broken bones. Surgery. Weird scary external fixators]
mad_server : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean is sick and wears one of Sam's hoodies]
a_starfish : [Sam, Bobby, Dean (gen): Sam's S4 powers make him ill]
selene_13 : [Sam, Dean (gen): Sam and Dean are in a car accident and Dean is more worried about the damage to the car than the damage to himself, even though he's actually quite badly hurt]
kiscinca : [Sam, Dean (gen): S4, dealing with Sam's drinking whilst Dean was gone], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
Maxine:  [Dean, Sam, Bobby (gen): I need a story where Dean has been de-aged (physically &mentally).Sam takes him to Bobby's & they both look after the little guy until they can get big Dean back]
iniq : [J2: For some reason, Jared thinks Jensen did something and is mad at him/ yells at him. Turns out, Jensen didn't do anything, and is pretty hurt Jared could think he'd do something like that . ]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean, (Gen): S4, Dean has an especially effed up relationship with pain now, Sam finds out/realises]
hope_calaris : [J2: Jensen wet and in Jared's clothes]
tir_synni : [Sam, Dean (gen):  Dean falls in a lake in the middle of winter. Hypothermic!Dean]
tir_synni : [Sam,  Dean (gen)  : Dean gets a pretty nasty scar that cuts across his lips (but it's actually extremely hot and badass he just doesn't realize it) and he's really self-conscious about laughing or smiling or anything to do with his mouth, maybe stops talking or something. Sam comforts him]
saralikeme : [John, Sam (gen): Dean is gone for a few days for some reason and when Sam falls sick, it falls to John to do the things that Dean usually does for his little brother]
woodsbaile_02 : [Chris, Jensen (gen): Jensen gets hit on rather aggressively by a stranger in a bar]
sg2009:  [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean has sneeze syncope (faints for a short time after sneezing)]
mad_server : [Sam, Dean (gen): Due to his "rehymenated" body not coming with all the resistance to things his old body had built up, Dean keeps getting sick]
july_july_july : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean shows up at Stanford Sam's freshman year with a through-and-through bullet wound in his leg (or somewhere else, if you must), and Sam patches him up as his roommate quietly freaks out]
a_starfish : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean gets a pretty nasty scar that cuts across his lips (but it's actually extremely hot and badass he just doesn't realize it) and he's really self-conscious about laughing or smiling or anything to do with his mouth, maybe stops talking or something. Sam comforts him]
legoline : [Sam, Dean gen): Dean with a limp]
tir_synni : [Sam, dean (gen): Dean has broken up with his boyfriend and is moping - but doesn't dare tell Sam the real reason in case they freak]
kiscinca : [Sam, Dean (gen): Set after "Metamorphosis". Sam has his third cold in two months, and Dean takes care of him]
innocentculprit : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean has a concussion and a fever and is confused and headachy and tired and sad and sleepy]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean (AU): Sam is a doctor now,one night Dean shows up at his hospital...] inspired by this graphic (@animotus )
iniq : [Sam, Dean (AU): Sam is a doctor now, one night Dean shows up at the hospital ....] inspired by this graphic (@animotus )
iniq : [J2: Jensen limps and Jared worries]
twasadark : [Sam, Dean (gen): Set sometime in season four. Sam has a fever and Dean is taking care of him]
sinnerforhire : [J2 + Misha: Misha feels like a bit of an outsider when he joins the SPN cast, because Jared and Jensen are so close. He gets hurt on set somehow and finally gets accepted as 'one of the boys']
sinnerforhire : [Jared, Jensen, Misha (RPF) - The three of them are hanging out in the free time, someone starts having heart trouble]
sinnerforhire [J2: One of the boys get sick with the flu and the other takes care of him]
deadmandarcie : [Dean, Castiel (gen) - Little!Dean gets hurt somehow and his "guardian angel" Castiel comforts him.], [Part 2], [Part 3]
weesta : [Jensen, Misha (gen): Jensen and Misha are running lines together when Misha collapses. Worried!Jensen ensues]
deadmandarcie : [Sam and Dean (Gen). A curse stops Sam from sleeping, ever.]
tir_synni : [Sam, Dean (wincesty): Hurt of your choice, but Dean is unconscious or out of it in some way so that Sam has to undress him. Dean is wearing girl panties.]
sinnerforhire : [J2: After some long and exhausting shoots, (bruised/hurty!)Jensen falls asleep on the couch while they're watching a movie together - with an ice pack on his shoulder]
i_speak_tongue : [Sam, Dean (gen): Outsider POV from someone in Dean's junior year ceramics class -- Dean busts one of his arms/shoulder and can't spin the clay on the wheel, so he's stuck making coil pots one-handed. Sam's in the woodworking class down the hall and sometimes he stops by to mock his brother.]



 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
(Anonymous) on April 20th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
SECONDED.

I would third it if I could!
(Anonymous) on April 24th, 2009 09:58 pm (UTC)
PART 1
Dean isn’t proud of it, but he misses Alistair sometimes. See, in hell, where you’re the most alone you’ve ever been, anybody who touches you in any way, you love them.

*

After he gets out, Dean forgets things every once and awhile, little human things. He goes to choke down food the way he used to and he just can’t. He’s forgotten how to swallow.

One day he picks at his cheeseburger and Sam lets him get away with it, but the next morning he orders Dean’s breakfast for him, eggs and sausage and a side of hash-browns. Dean takes one look at it all congealing on his plate and it’s like his whole body shuts down because now he’s forgotten how to breathe.

“Something wrong with your breakfast, dollface?” the waitress asks, and for a few sick seconds he’s sure he’s going to come back to life screaming, that he’ll tear her throat out, throw up, something.

He punches his thigh under the table, unconsciously at first and then with purpose, but it doesn’t hurt even a little, so he stops.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he manages, voice coming out wheezing, as thick and slow as mud.

“Well, if you’re sure,” she says, glancing at Sam uncertainly, like she thinks he’s lying to her, like she’s thinking all these horrible things about him. Paranoia settles heavily in a throbbing headache behind his eyes.

“He’s sure,” Sam says tightly, but when she’s gone he puts down his napkin, leans across the table. “Dean?” he says. “You need to get out of here or what?”

“Nah,” Dean says, takes a few swallows of scalding coffee. It goes down fine, thank fuck.

“Dollface,” Sam teases after awhile, and Dean flips him off.

*

When there was nothing left, when Dean didn’t have lips or a tongue or a voice anymore to scream his brother’s name, something in Alistair would- not gentle, but seem to. He’d pet at Dean’s hair, maybe, or cup his face, like Dean was a beloved pet or a small child. Sometimes he’d kiss him on the edge of his broken mouth, saying, so sweetly, “Cheer up, son. Give or take a few hundred years and little Sammy will be here. Because this is where he’s going to end up, you know. Oh, the tragedy. After what you did for him? Well. When he gets here, I’ll let you watch me tear him apart. If you’re a good boy. Are you going to be a good boy, Deano?”

That’s him. That’s the guy Dean misses at night; that’s the guy he aches for.
(Anonymous) on April 24th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
PART 2
Dean loves setting shit on fire, but tonight he’s just standing there with a pack of matches in his hands, daydreaming over an open grave. He’s forgotten where he is until Sam says, “What’s the hold-up?” starting towards him with an impatient frown.

Dean’s head bobs up, seems to loll on his shoulders for a few seconds before he can begin to set it right. He blinks a few times, heavy-eyed. “Sssshit,” he slurs.

“Dean?” Sam says, incredulous, arm hovering at his brother’s elbow. “Did you just- were you asleep, just now?”

“It’s the fuckin’ caffeine,” Dean says, which doesn’t even make any sense. At the same time they both notice that he’s shaking, hard, his fingers fumbling uselessly with the pack of matches.

“Dean, hey. Hey,” Sam says, and he does touch him then, takes the matches from him carefully. He lights one and throws it onto the bones of one Candace Miller. “There,” he says, as the familiar burnt hair smell begins to rise. “Let’s get out of here, okay? C’mon.”

“Gimme that,” Dean snaps, and shoves the matches back in his pocket where they used to belong.

*

Dean is pacing the length of their motel room. He hasn’t slept in nearly 27 hours now; he and Sam have been living on gas station sandwiches and Pepsi and chips for days, not even a goddamn beer to take the edge off since they just got out of a dry county. Dean is about as pissed as he’s ever been, knowing that with every step he takes he’s only proving every shameful thing Sam’s ever said about him true, but he can’t stop now. He has to keep going.

“You should try to get some sleep,” Sam keeps telling him, nice and calm. Dean wants to punch him in his stupid, calm face. It pisses him off even more than Sam would probably let him get away with it.

“Jesus,” he says, about ready to haul off and punch the wall instead.

“How about I go get you something from the vending machine first?” Sam coaxes. “Whatever you want, man.”

“You’re such a good wife, Sammy,” Dean says. He feels mean, and faintly feverish, every joint aching. He’s half-hard for no reason he can understand.

“You really need to get some sleep, Dean,” Sam says. “I’m serious.”

“Fuck you; don’t touch me,” Dean says.

“Okay,” Sam says from the other side of the room. He holds his hands up. “You’re bumping into walls over there, is all I’m saying.”

“Did you lay the salt-lines?”

“Yes, Dean. Yes. I laid the salt lines. Like always. Okay? Now will you calm your ass down and go to bed?”

“Whatever. You calm down,” Dean says. “You go to bed.”

“Yeah, you know what? I’m going out,” Sam says. “You’re being a child. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. I- shit!”

“So go,” Dean says.

“Man, don’t even start that with me right now,” Sam says. “I mean it.”

Dean mock-salutes him; Sam closes his eyes and breathes loudly through his nose. He’s still standing there like that when Dean locks himself in the bathroom. He peels his sweaty shirt off with vague plans to take a shower, but then the handprint on his upper-arm catches his eye. It stays furnace-red, always, like something only partially healed.

He doesn’t really think about what he does next.
(Anonymous) on April 24th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
PART 3
It doesn’t matter how long he holds the lit match up to the already burnt-looking skin on his shoulder - it’s no good. He can’t do it the way Alistair did it; he can’t slice past flesh and bone and molecules the way he did, and when he realizes this, Dean hears himself make a noise he’s never made on earth, some kind of ghostly keening wail.

His arms are suddenly pinned down. “What’s wrong with you? What the hell is wrong with you?” Sam is nearly hysterical, shaking him so violently that it sets something already in motion in Dean into overdrive and he slams his head back against the wall, panicked.

“No, Dean, no,” Sam says, hand at the back of Dean’s neck then, pat-patting him, his face. “Oh, god. God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re okay. There’s nothing’s wrong with you. You’re fine.”

Dean shakes his head jerkily, but lets Sam pat at him some more.

Sam trembles a little, staring into his eyes. “Oh, you sonofabitch. Dean.”

He takes care of Dean’s shoulder for him. Dean doesn’t know exactly what he does for it; he doesn’t look to see. He’s so tired of seeing what’s been done to him, and what he’s done to himself.

“Please don’t do that again,” Sam says after he makes Dean lie down in bed. He’s crying, silently. “Please. I feel like- I won’t be able to stand it.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Dean stutters. “Sammy. Sam, you were right, man. I’m tired. I’m too tired, all right, and I got stupid.”

“Just shut up, okay?” Sam says with fierce gentleness, and with his eyes wet and sore-looking like that, he’s someone Dean almost recognizes.

“Don’t go,” he blurts out then, and his brother’s giant hand instantly falls back on him, onto his head, smoothing back the unwashed hair there. Sam’s hand covers his entire forehead and more, nearly his entire skull. It’s hard to think that Sam had once been smaller than him, had wanted to be carried everywhere and had clung to Dean’s waist like a baby monkey until Dean gave in and said okay, c’mon, up. It’s hard to think about anything these days. But it isn’t like he can help it. “Sammy, don’t-” he tries again.

“Shh, I won’t,” Sam promises, and stays with him in his bed all night that night, close, but that isn’t what Dean had meant.
(Deleted comment)
annefenwickannefenwick on April 24th, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC)
Re: PART 3
i don't know that i have the words to describe just how incredibly wow this is :) you truly write beautifully, it sucked me in completely! thank you thank you thank you so much for sharing your writing with us!
Re: PART 3 - (Anonymous) on April 25th, 2009 12:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: PART 3 - (Anonymous) on April 25th, 2009 12:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
roque_clasiqueroque_clasique on April 24th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC)
Re: PART 3
Who are you, anonymous?
I want to know your name so I can stalk you day and night in the hopes that I will find more amazing fic like this.
So absolutely beautifully written and painful.
(Deleted comment)
Re: PART 3 - (Anonymous) on April 25th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: PART 3 - (Anonymous) on April 25th, 2009 12:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
audleyssecret on April 25th, 2009 02:02 am (UTC)
Re: PART 3
This aches in such a good way. Awesome, awesome work.
saralikemesaralikeme on April 25th, 2009 06:16 am (UTC)
Re: PART 3
Wow, this was great. Completely sucked me in so I felt like I was there with them, wanting to give them both hugs (in a non-creepy way, of course). :) Thanks for writing!
crazytook on April 25th, 2009 09:33 am (UTC)
Re: PART 3
wow, that was really amazing. so very like, sweet without being too much, and just how Dean would hurt himself and how Sam, specifically Sam, would comfort. Just...lovely.
Kudos!
-crazytook
selene_13: gunpornselene_13 on April 25th, 2009 03:56 pm (UTC)
Re: PART 3
That was a great fic. This bit:

That’s him. That’s the guy Dean misses at night; that’s the guy he aches for.

Oooh chilling.

mahamure.blogspot.com on April 28th, 2009 06:09 am (UTC)
Re: PART 3
This is so good it made me jump up, squee, read it again, recommend it to my friend, read again, recommend it to my small world and then read it again.

I will probably read it again.
And again.
And again.
asiajournalasiajournal on July 11th, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)
Re: PART 3
I love the whole Part 3! Gut wrenching! I wish this is the story on the the TV show!

(He can’t do it the way Alistair did it; he can’t slice past flesh and bone and molecules the way he did, and when he realizes this, Dean hears himself make a noise he’s never made on earth, some kind of ghostly keening wail.)

Oh, Dean. Oh, Dean. Oh, Dean...

(His arms are suddenly pinned down. “What’s wrong with you? What the hell is wrong with you?” Sam is nearly hysterical, shaking him so violently that it sets something already in motion in Dean into overdrive and he slams his head back against the wall, panicked.

“No, Dean, no,” Sam says, hand at the back of Dean’s neck then, pat-patting him, his face. “Oh, god. God, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re okay. There’s nothing’s wrong with you. You’re fine.”)

Eek! Oh my god. This is so... so...
Sam realized Dean horrified about what Sam's said and he panicked and... and...

(“Please don’t do that again,” Sam says after he makes Dean lie down in bed. He’s crying, silently. “Please. I feel like- I won’t be able to stand it.”)

Oh, Sam. Both of them are just so broken.
asiajournalasiajournal on July 11th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
Re: PART 3
Who are you? Why won't you tell us? I need to check out your other fics if there are any. Pleeese!