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11 April 2009 @ 09:10 pm
Hurt/Comfort-Meme  
A while ago, I promised you a comment-fic-meme as soon as we reached 100 members. And here it is!

Teh Rulez
01. Comment to this post with your prompt and desired pairing(s). Be as specific or unspecific as you like.
For example: "Sam, Dean (gen): hypothermia" or "Jared/Jensen: Jared gets hurt on set, Rating: at least R" or "Dean/Castiel: Castiel comforts Dean after a nightmare"
If you are unsure about a certain pairing or prompt, please go to our profile and read the general rules or ask in our FAQs
02. Post as many prompts as you like - but one prompt per comment only, please!
03. If you find a prompt that strikes your fancy, jump in and write some comment fic for the prompt poster
04. More than one comment fic response to a prompt is absolutely acceptable. (There is no such thing as too much hurt/comfort!)
05. Tell your friends to tell their friends to come and join the fun, add a prompt, write a fic and leave some love for the authors! ^___^
06. Play nice - no flames, no bashing is allowed here! If I see a rude comment to a prompt or a fic repsonse, I'll delete it without further warning.
07. Please no spam-comments and please don't ask questions about the meme here - use the FAQs-post. =)

And most important of all: Have lots of fun - make them bleed, make them cry, make them argue and most of all: let them hug and cuddle to make it all better! ;)


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Masterlist of fics:
lissa_ann : [Dean, Sam (gen): Teen!Sam gets roofied, big brother Dean to the rescue]
shadowofcastiel : [Dean/Castiel (slash, PG-13): Castiel hugs an agitated, distressed Dean]
9_of_clubs : [Dean/Castiel. Castiel gets punished for bending the rules to help Dean]
sinnerforhire : [Sam, Dean: Chickenpox]
authoressnebula : [Sam, Dean (gen), Post 4.18, Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen): Teen!Sam spends some time at a camp while Dean and John are on a hunting trip. One night, exhausted!hurt!Dean sneaks into the camp to check on his little brother]
indigominstrels :  [JDM/Jensen/Jared: Jensen gets a very bad news from his family and won't eat for days. Jared and JDM get worried and don't want Jensen to be sick on top of it all]
persuna : [Gen. Sam gets hurt trying to save one of the seals. Protective!Dean and protective!Castiel]
blualbino : [Dean/Fallen!Castiel: Castiel gets his first dose of human illness and Dean has to take care of him]
maychorian : [Dean, Castiel (gen) - Little!Dean gets hurt somehow and his "guardian angel" Castiel comforts him]
blualbino [Sam, Dean (gen): After 4.18 TMATEOTS Dean reads Chuck's Mystery Spot book and finally gets the full story]
tahirire : [Sam, Pamela: AU of 4.01 or other S4 episode. Pamela can see Sam's strife and comforts Sam.]
charlie_d_blue : [Gen: A demon has a grudge against Castiel (maybe for his role in getting Dean saved, or in killing Alistair). Sam and Dean arrive in time to save their angel, but there's repair & comfort needed, of course]
sinnerforhire : [Dean, Sam (gen) - Dean gets hurt (breaks leg) and Sam has to carry him, much to Dean's dismay]
Anonymous
: [Sam, Dean (gen): Post BUaBS. Sam wakes up, middle of the road, middle of the night, middle of nowhere. Dean's run the tank bone dry]
atimi : [Jared/Jensen: Jensen + sunstroke + worried!Jared]
schwarze_elster : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean falls down a hole in a cemetery. Sammy helps his big brother]
fhionnuiscetine :   [Sam (gen): what happened to Sam while Dean was in hell]
violet_eyes : [J2: Somehow the boys end up in the middle of a bank robbery and being taken hostage. Jared gets shot. Lots of angst ensues]
autumn_lilacs : [Bobby, Dean, gen. In early Season 2, the Impala is still in terrible shape. The car, she is hurt. The car, she needs comfort. Dean and Bobby provide]
rei17 :   [Dean, Sam (gen) - Dean gets hurt (breaks leg?) and Sam has to carry him, much to Dean's dismay]
parislove27 : [Sam, Dean (gen) - Dean passes out of the wheel of the Impala]
i_speak_tongue : [Dean, Sam (Gen): Dean saves a cat from a flooded storm water drain. Gets cold, wet and scratched up for his troubles; Sam tries not to laugh whilst patching him up]
hope_calaris : [Sam, Dean (gen): One of the guys has a health scare, the other worries and comforts]
ginzai :  [Sam, Dean, Bobby (gen): Bobby is severely injured helping the boys, the boys have to figure out how to save him for once. Bonus points for extremely protective boys]
blualbino :  [J2 or Sam, Dean: During workout/sports/training/messing around one of the boys accidentally hurts the other.]
blueeyedliz : [Jared/Jensen: Jared gets attacked by a stranger and Jensen finds him afterwards]
fhionnuiscetine : [Sam experiences extreme emotional distress after discovering that their fangirls think he's a necropheliac. Dean confronts this problem with his Righteous Brotherly Rage(TM)]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen) - Sam comforts Dean for a change, making sure he knows he's worth it]
tripoli : [Sam (gen): what happened to Sam while Dean was in hell]
ginzai : [Dean, John (gen): Stanford-era, Sam is gone and Dean sleeps too little and eats too little and John doesn't realize how much he suffers until Dean gets sick/hurt]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen): Unhinged, tied up Sam with a side order of badass protective Dean please]
i_speak_tongue : [Sam, Dean, John (Gen): Dean stops eating for days on end for reasons unknown and Sam has to get his big bro to eat again]
tir_synni :  [J2: Jensen gets bitten by a (poisonous) snake, location unimportant. Jared to the rescue!]
maychorian : [Wee!Dean, John, Mary: Dean vs Wasps]
blualbino : [Dean/Fallen!Castiel: Castiel gets his first dose of human illness and Dean has to take care of him]
blue_icy_rose : [Sam and Dean (Gen) - Season 4. The boys wind up in trouble on a case (doesn't matter how). Sam saves Dean at the cost of his own chance to get away, and winds up in danger. Dean comes to the rescue]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean (gen): Sam and Dean get accidentally trapped somewhere (on set or during a hunt) and one of the guys freaks out and gets a panic attack]
hope_calaris : [Sam (gen): what happened to Sam while Dean was in hell]
a_starfish : [Sam and Dean or Sam/Dean, immediately pre-Stanford. Dean can't really take this. He's falling apart thinking about what's about to happen to his family. Enter Sam]
sinnerforhire : [Sam, Dean, Jess: Sam as a modern Cassandra--sane or insane, real or imagined.]
maychorian : [Stanford era Dean and Bobby, gen. Dean gets injured (I ain't particular on this) and Bobby's the one who has to patch him up]
fhionnuiscetine : [S1, please, with Sam cleaning Dean up and badgering him about the scars received while he was at Stanford?]
blualbino : [Sam and Dean or Sam/Dean. Sam's first attempt at losing his virginity (to either gender) goes drastically wrong. Dean makes it better]
woodsbaile_02 : [Jared/Jensen: Jensen + sunstroke + worried!Jared] [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
blueeyedliz : [J2: Jared suffers from a chronic illness (asthma, diabetes ... ). Worried!Jensen ensues]
tahirire : [Sam, Dean(gen): Set sometime in season four. Sam has a fever and Dean is taking care of him. Sam also tells his brother he thinks Dean doesn't love him anymore, and Dean convinces him otherwise]
tir_synni : [Kripke, Jensen (gen): sick!Jensen and worried!Kripke, who gives top priority to his star's well-being.]
tir_synni : [Dean, John(gen): Both Dean and his father are injured on a hunt, and Dean tends to the other first and neglects his own wounds, causing complications later]
roque_clasique : [Sam, Dean - Sam gets a bad haircut. Dean to the rescue. Sam only ever lets Dean cut his hair from then on]
roque_clasique : [Sam, Dean (gen): Post BUaBS. Sam wakes up, middle of the road, middle of the night, middle of nowhere. Dean's run the tank bone dry]
roque_clasique : [John,Dean,Sam(Gen):Dean hurts his shoulder]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean(gen): A curse stops Sam from sleeping, ever.]
embroiderama : [Sam/Jess: Sam gets hurt at Stanford for some reason when he's with his friends, far from a doctor, and he stitches himself up/sets his own bones, and his friends are all WOAH SAM HOW'D YOU GET SO BADASS and he's all *SHRUG*]
roque_clasique :  [Dean, Sam (gen or wincest): Set in S2, Sam passes out during a vision]
rosestoo : [Sam and Dean (Gen). A curse stops Sam from sleeping, ever]
maychorian : [Sam, Dean (Gen) Dean goes missing during a hunt, Sam find him days later dazed and confused]
roque_clasique : [Jensen, Jared (Gen) : Jensen takes Jared's dogs for a walk, and Harley/Sadie gets attacked by another dog. Jensen gets bitten pulling them apart. Jared yells at him for doing something so stupid, but is also super grateful to him for saving his dog]
sexynarwhal : [Dean, Sam (gen): Dean is de-aged and for some reason they can't change him back for awhile. Meanwhile a nasty gets wind of Dean's vulnerability, and he is kidnapped and moderately mistreated + PTSD!Dean]
i_speak_tongue : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean gets sick during a hunt but keeps insisting he is fine. Only he is ... not]
roque_clasique : [Dean, Sam (gen): Dean on strong painkillers gets loopy and clingy, telling the nurses how much he loves his brother and not wanting Sammy to ever leave him, stuff like that - and yes, Sam is totally allowed to make fun of him afterwards]
cream_fudge : [Dean, Sam, gen, S1-4: Dean hurts his hands or his arms and can't use them and Sam has to feed him and shave him and tuck him in and tie his sneakers and button up his little flannel shirts]
sinnerforhire : [Dean, Sam, John (gen): Dean is hiding that a lingering cold has turned into pneumonia to go on a hunt in the middle of a howling storm]
tcs1121 : [Dean can sense the tension in the months before Sam leaves for Stanford, and he starts smoking heavily. Heh. Sam tries to get him to quit]
maychorian : [Teen!chesters -- Dean is badly injured on a hunt (broken leg/s a huge bonus) but still has to go to high school 'cause he's a senior and needs to graduate, and Sam keeps an eye out for him...]
uhzoomzip : [Jensen/jared - Jensen has appendicitis and collapses in the middle of a scene]
july_july_july : [Dean, John (gen): Teen!Dean is allowed to accompany John and another hunter on a hunt. The hunter keeps putting Dean down. In the end he is careless and does something stupid, so Dean gets hurt himself while protecting him. Featuring angry!scary!badass!John who rips the hunter a new one for putting his sons life in danger]
rei17 :  [Sam, Dean (gen): Narcoleptic!Dean], [Part 2+3]
momentine : [Teen!Dean drops acid (accidentally or on purpose) and has a bad trip, and Sammy has to talk him down off the roof of their house/apartment...]
hope_calaris : [J2: First time is a disaster (every possible accident is fine but nothing remotely non-con or dub-con, please!)]
deluweil : [J2: Jared realizes something's wrong with Jensen when Harley and Sadie wake him up in the middle of the night ...]
Maxine: [J2- in the middle of a scene jensen is stabbed in the stomach with a real knife instead of a prop]             
a_starfish : [Erratically driving the impala crazy/concussed Sam, with pursuing in another car Dean]
roque_clasique : [Teen!Dean drops acid (accidentally or on purpose) and has a bad trip, and Sammy has to talk him down off the roof of their house/apartment...]
iniq : [Stanford era Dean and Bobby, gen. Dean gets injured (I ain't particular on this) and Bobby's the one who has to patch him up], [Part 2 (slash!) ]
sinnerforhire : [Sam, Dean (gen) - Dean has a seizure]
july_july_july : [Sam/Jess. Sam gets homesick at Stanford. He can't tell Jess any details, but he's hurt and she's comforting]
ariadnes_string : [J2: Jared is off doing promo work for Friday the 13th while Jensen stays behind to film. Extra long days and no Jared means no sleep for Jensen and he gets sick]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean (Gen or Wincest) - S4. Sam starts to sleep way more than usual. Cue worried Dean]
audleyssecret : [J2: Jensen has a very strong headache while filming a scene of Supernatural. He almost faints so the Director tells him to go take a nap in his trailer. Jared takes care of him]
july_july_july : [Dean, Sam, John (gen): Dean is hiding that a lingering cold has turned into pneumonia to go on a hunt (possibly following Sam and/or John without them knowing?) in the middle of a howling storm]
bellatemple : [Narcoleptic!Dean], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
lissa_ann :   [Sam, Dean (gen): Post 4.18, Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months. He doesn't want to go darkside, and believes he will because of Dean's comment about it], [Part 2], [Part 3]
sinnerforhire : [J2: Jensen's in a car accident. Jared tries to make him feel better]
saberivojo : [Sam, Dean (gen): Teen!Sam spends some time at a camp while Dean and John are on a hunting trip. One night, exhausted!hungry!(maybe even hurt)Dean sneaks into the camp to check on his little brother], [Part 2], [Part 3]
july_july_july : [Dean, Sam, Castiel; PTSD!Castiel or traumatized!Castiel, maybe as a result of torture, rape, I dunno. Taken in and cared for]
saralikeme : [RPS - Jared or Jensen gets a bad stomach bug and tries to keep it a secret so shooting doesn't get delayed]
tir_synni : [Dean, Sam, John: AU after first season's car crash. The YED is dead, John didn't make the deal. But after Dean wakes up from the coma he's not the same as before (might be PTSD, physical or mental disabilities or he's in need of constant treatmeant due to some injuries, stuff like that). I'd love to read something where Sam, Dean and John settle down somewhere and try to find a way back into a normal life]
fhionnuiscetine : [Sam, Dean (gen): Set sometime in season four. Sam has a fever and Dean is taking care of him. Sam also tells his brother he thinks Dean doesn't love him anymore, and Dean convinces him otherwise]
dodger_winslow : [Bobby and John, gen. John is injured on a hunt and Bobby knows that he has to get him back to his boys]
fhionnuiscetine : [Sam, Dean, Jess (gen, het): AU (obviously), Jess gets hit on rather aggressively. Protective!Sam&Dean, please]
riverbella : [Dean, Sam, John (gen): Dean loses an eye and has to re-learn hunting stuff with his new, altered depth perception]
embroiderama : [John, Dean, Sam (gen): John gets a call from school, that one of his boys got hurt/passed out during class ...], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
maychorian : [Dean, John (gen): Teen!Dean (16-18-ish) is allowed to accompany John and another hunter on a hunt. The hunter keeps putting Dean down. In the end the other dude is careless and does something stupid, so Dean gets hurt himself while protecting him. I really want angry!scary!badass!John who rips the hunter a new one for putting his sons life in danger]
i_speak_tongue : [Dean, Sam, gen, S1-4: Dean hurts his hands or his arms and can't use them and Sam has to feed him and shave him and tuck him in and tie his sneakers and button up his little flannel shirts], [Part 2]. [Part 3]. [Part 4a]. [Part 4b]
Maxine: [Dean is de-aged (physically) but even though his mind is still his, his body is a kid’s and he needs a nap. Sam attempts to convince him of this; Dean is NOT impressed. But in the end he falls asleep on Sam's shoulder anyway]
sinnerforhire : [J2: Feverish Jensen, Nightmare Jensen, Jared comforts him]
ariadnes_string : [Dean, Sam, Castiel (gen): Dean has a fever or a concussion and thinks he's back in hell. Sam and Castiel have to look after him and try and talk him through it]
deluweil : [J2: Jensen and Jared are in a bar to see Chris and Steve on stage, when a fight starts not very far from Jensen and he gets caught in it and gets hurt]
audleyssecret : [J2: Jensen and Jared are in a bar to see Chris and Steve on stage, when a fight starts not very far from Jensen and he gets caught in it and gets hurt]
tir_synni : [Dean, John (gen): Dean loses an eye and has to re-learn hunting stuff with his new, altered depth perception], [Part 2], [Part 3]
Maxine:  [J2:Jensen has a punctured or collapsed lung]
iniq : [J2: Asthmatic!Jensen]
rosestoo : [Sam, Dean (Gen): If your sister or your brother were stumbling on their last mile ~ in a self-inflicted exile]
tripoverhercats : [Dean, Bobby (gen): Pre series : Dean is hunting solo. Sam is at school, not returning his calls, Dad has gone off the grid as well. A big bad gets Dean in the forest, and he knows he is dying -- it's a dangerous gig, but he calls Bobby because he doesn't want to check out alone]
tir_synni : [J2 : Jensen has some kind of ailment that ends up being exacerbated by plane travel. Bring on the in-air hurt/comfort]
woodsbaile_02 : [J2: ared realizes something's wrong with Jensen when Harley and Sadie wake him up in the middle of the night ...], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
sg2009: [Dean, Sam (gen): Dean is de-aged and for some reason they can't change him back for awhile. Meanwhile a nasty gets wind of Dean's vulnerability, and he is kidnapped and moderately mistreated, PTSD!Dean]
theditor : [J2: Jensen has an allergic reaction to something on set & goes into anaphylactic shock & almost dies in Jared's arms]
faye_dartmouth : [Sam, John, Pastor Jim (gen): Ten-year-old Sammy wakes up in the backseat of the Impala to find the car in the ditch; John trapped, bloody and out-of-his-head-confused in the front seat; and the passenger door hanging open with Dean nowhere to be found]
no_apologies_86 : [Sam, Dean (gen): After 4.18 TMATEOTS Dean reads Chuck's Mystery Spot book and finally gets the full story. Because it's never too late for surprise!Mystery Spot codas], [Part 2]
tir_synni : [Sam, Dean (gen) : Weechesters. A training session ends badly when Sam gets hurt trying to meet John's expectations]
geminigrl11 : [Dean, Sam, Castiel (gen): Apocalypse/War timeframe. Dean and Sam have been separated (by choice, Angelic intervention, what-have-you) for weeks when Dean, seemingly randomly, finds Sam in an abandoned church, bloody and half-insane from trauma]
rei17 : [Sam, Dean (gen): girl!Dean, Sam Sam's sister gets hurt and it's the first time he realizes just how fragile his sister really is]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean (gen):Weechesters - Sam is poisoned by a bite he receives from a supernatural creature during a hunt. Dean to the rescue]    
katriel1987 : [Sam, Dean (gen): Exhausted-to-the-point-of collapse Dean]
uhzoomzip : [Dean, Sam, post 4.16: Dean’s in the hospital and not getting better as fast as he should be due to medical complications/a way overdue emotional breakdown/whatever, and Sam is kind of scarily protective of him and intimidates all the staff/pretty angels]
roque_clasique : [Dean, John, (gen): Dean in traction. Multiple broken bones. Surgery. Weird scary external fixators]
mad_server : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean is sick and wears one of Sam's hoodies]
a_starfish : [Sam, Bobby, Dean (gen): Sam's S4 powers make him ill]
selene_13 : [Sam, Dean (gen): Sam and Dean are in a car accident and Dean is more worried about the damage to the car than the damage to himself, even though he's actually quite badly hurt]
kiscinca : [Sam, Dean (gen): S4, dealing with Sam's drinking whilst Dean was gone], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4]
Maxine:  [Dean, Sam, Bobby (gen): I need a story where Dean has been de-aged (physically &mentally).Sam takes him to Bobby's & they both look after the little guy until they can get big Dean back]
iniq : [J2: For some reason, Jared thinks Jensen did something and is mad at him/ yells at him. Turns out, Jensen didn't do anything, and is pretty hurt Jared could think he'd do something like that . ]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean, (Gen): S4, Dean has an especially effed up relationship with pain now, Sam finds out/realises]
hope_calaris : [J2: Jensen wet and in Jared's clothes]
tir_synni : [Sam, Dean (gen):  Dean falls in a lake in the middle of winter. Hypothermic!Dean]
tir_synni : [Sam,  Dean (gen)  : Dean gets a pretty nasty scar that cuts across his lips (but it's actually extremely hot and badass he just doesn't realize it) and he's really self-conscious about laughing or smiling or anything to do with his mouth, maybe stops talking or something. Sam comforts him]
saralikeme : [John, Sam (gen): Dean is gone for a few days for some reason and when Sam falls sick, it falls to John to do the things that Dean usually does for his little brother]
woodsbaile_02 : [Chris, Jensen (gen): Jensen gets hit on rather aggressively by a stranger in a bar]
sg2009:  [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean has sneeze syncope (faints for a short time after sneezing)]
mad_server : [Sam, Dean (gen): Due to his "rehymenated" body not coming with all the resistance to things his old body had built up, Dean keeps getting sick]
july_july_july : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean shows up at Stanford Sam's freshman year with a through-and-through bullet wound in his leg (or somewhere else, if you must), and Sam patches him up as his roommate quietly freaks out]
a_starfish : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean gets a pretty nasty scar that cuts across his lips (but it's actually extremely hot and badass he just doesn't realize it) and he's really self-conscious about laughing or smiling or anything to do with his mouth, maybe stops talking or something. Sam comforts him]
legoline : [Sam, Dean gen): Dean with a limp]
tir_synni : [Sam, dean (gen): Dean has broken up with his boyfriend and is moping - but doesn't dare tell Sam the real reason in case they freak]
kiscinca : [Sam, Dean (gen): Set after "Metamorphosis". Sam has his third cold in two months, and Dean takes care of him]
innocentculprit : [Sam, Dean (gen): Dean has a concussion and a fever and is confused and headachy and tired and sad and sleepy]
Anonymous: [Sam, Dean (AU): Sam is a doctor now,one night Dean shows up at his hospital...] inspired by this graphic (@animotus )
iniq : [Sam, Dean (AU): Sam is a doctor now, one night Dean shows up at the hospital ....] inspired by this graphic (@animotus )
iniq : [J2: Jensen limps and Jared worries]
twasadark : [Sam, Dean (gen): Set sometime in season four. Sam has a fever and Dean is taking care of him]
sinnerforhire : [J2 + Misha: Misha feels like a bit of an outsider when he joins the SPN cast, because Jared and Jensen are so close. He gets hurt on set somehow and finally gets accepted as 'one of the boys']
sinnerforhire : [Jared, Jensen, Misha (RPF) - The three of them are hanging out in the free time, someone starts having heart trouble]
sinnerforhire [J2: One of the boys get sick with the flu and the other takes care of him]
deadmandarcie : [Dean, Castiel (gen) - Little!Dean gets hurt somehow and his "guardian angel" Castiel comforts him.], [Part 2], [Part 3]
weesta : [Jensen, Misha (gen): Jensen and Misha are running lines together when Misha collapses. Worried!Jensen ensues]
deadmandarcie : [Sam and Dean (Gen). A curse stops Sam from sleeping, ever.]
tir_synni : [Sam, Dean (wincesty): Hurt of your choice, but Dean is unconscious or out of it in some way so that Sam has to undress him. Dean is wearing girl panties.]
sinnerforhire : [J2: After some long and exhausting shoots, (bruised/hurty!)Jensen falls asleep on the couch while they're watching a movie together - with an ice pack on his shoulder]
i_speak_tongue : [Sam, Dean (gen): Outsider POV from someone in Dean's junior year ceramics class -- Dean busts one of his arms/shoulder and can't spin the clay on the wheel, so he's stuck making coil pots one-handed. Sam's in the woodworking class down the hall and sometimes he stops by to mock his brother.]



 
 
Current Mood: accomplished
 
 
 
klutzy_girlklutzy_girl on April 11th, 2009 11:42 pm (UTC)
Sam, Dean. Gen.

Post 4.18, Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months. He doesn't want to go darkside, and believes he will because of Dean's comment about it.

Dean stops him and comforts his younger brother.
Nebula: spn sam prettyauthoressnebula on April 12th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
You are CRUEL and EVIL. This prompt is too good to ignore.

--------------

Lilith was gone, Chuck was gone, Castiel had apparently been around and was gone. Dean was gone. New hotel, new city. Nothing had changed, really. Except everything that mattered.

Sam shut his eyes tight and rolled over onto his side. Dean had headed out for a late-night supply run, but whether it was food or something else Sam didn't remember. Dean had told him, but Sam was trying not to focus on Dean's words. Not after...

"You think I'm gonna go darkside, don't you?"

"Yes, okay? Yes!"


...well. Not after that.

Sleep wasn't happening, and Sam sat up, trying to breathe deeply. He'd held it together while they'd packed up and left, while they'd dropped Chuck off, while they'd headed down the road. He'd even tried to talk in the car, tried to put on a bold exterior.

While the inside fell apart.

The angels he could handle distrusting him. Really. Wasn't like he'd prayed to them for help, believed in their goodness for years. Or been hurt when they and the rest of heaven had so easily condemned him.

But Dean? Dean had always been his constant, even while the angels had dismissed him as pure evil. Dean was the one he always knew would have his back, would always believe in him, wouldn't condemn him or hate him.

Except now he did. Dean thought he'd go darkside, thought he'd turn evil.

"The way you've been acting lately, the things you've been doing..."

Sam swallowed and pressed the heels of his hands into his burning eyes. He thought he'd had a chance, thought maybe he wouldn't turn. He didn't want to, wouldn't become the thing he'd hunted for years.

But if Dean thought he'd go darkside, no hesitation in his words, then Sam was already damned. He couldn't fight this on his own. And the firm belief that Dean had had in his words made Sam's chest tighten painfully. For Dean to give up on Sam, for him to see Sam past saving, it meant that Sam had passed some line that there wasn't any coming back from. And somehow, Sam had missed seeing the line.

Dean hadn't. If Sam had missed it, then Dean was right, and Sam was already too far gone.

Sam raised watery eyes to the table across the room, where his handgun was laid out. His hesitation was no longer than Dean's had been the day before, and he pushed himself up from the bed, eyes locked on the gun. He wouldn't become the thing Dean feared, or what he hated. Or what he'd have to hunt. No.

Sam would finish it before he turned any further.
Nebula: spn sam 402authoressnebula on April 12th, 2009 03:31 pm (UTC)
Part 2

--------------------------

His hand wrapped around the gun just as the door opened. "Some lights would be nice," Dean said, and the lights came on. The door shut as Dean continued lightly. "There a reason you're sitting in the..."

Sam closed his eyes as Dean trailed off, but kept his grip on the gun firm. "Sam?" Dean finally asked, voice soft and cautious, and Sam flinched. He sounded...afraid. Afraid that Sam was going to shoot him.

He opened his eyes and turned away from the table to gaze at Dean, who was lowering a paper bag down to the ground. "Take it easy," Dean called out, wide eyes on Sam, and Sam's heart kept splintering, piece by piece. Already damned. No hesitation.

"Please don't," Sam choked out. Dean froze, hands just lifting from the bag, and Sam shut his eyes tight. "I mean, you don't...have to."

He opened his eyes again, blinking away the stinging moisture. Dean looked even more afraid than before, and Sam had to finish this now. "Have to what?" Dean asked.

Sam swallowed hard, feeling sick to his stomach. "Be afraid. Of me," he added in a whisper. He tried to smile but felt it die on his face.

"Little too late for that, Sam," Dean said. "Just...just listen to me, okay? It's-"

"You should've told me sooner," Sam blurted out. Dean stopped talking, and Sam gripped the gun even tighter in his hand. "About the line being crossed. About knowing I was going darkside. If you'd just told me, I..." Sam felt himself shaking and tried to steady his movements, but he was out of control. Had been for too long, and he should've known. Dean had known he was past saving. Had he always known?

Dean's eyes were even wider now. "Sam, no-"

"I'd have done this sooner," Sam whispered, and brought the gun to his temple. He shut his eyes, cocked the hammer back, and pulled the trigger.

---------------------

Part 3 up after I get home from work. *sheepish grin*

Edited at 2009-04-12 04:02 pm (UTC)
tarienemrys: I tried to fogettarienemrys on April 12th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Awwww I'll try to wait patiently *bites nails*
LOVED it so far :D
Thanks for sharing
*hugs*
Live like you mean it and love til you feel it: Sam Dean (brothers)rei17 on April 12th, 2009 06:36 pm (UTC)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP!!!!
WHAT?!
No way!!
Dude, no way!
That is evil! you can't just stop there !! No no! Saaaaam!!! O_____O
Dean stop him! Do something! And tell him you didn't mean it! óò He didn't mean the whole "slowing him down"-thing either.
Gah. Please write more soon! *bites her nails*
Nebula: misc - neb ficauthoressnebula on April 12th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)
Sorry for work taking so long; totally unintentional!! But! Your conclusion here in Part 3.

--------------------

The gun went off just as something strong pushed his arm back, sending the bullet straight through the wall. Sam gasped and flew backwards, Dean following him to the floor. The gun tumbled harmlessly from Sam's shocked fingers, bouncing away beyond his grasp. "No," Sam whispered, then called again, this time louder. "No! I need to-"

He struggled to push Dean off, but Dean had his hands wrapped around Sam's wrists, pulling Sam's arms in and away from the gun. "Sam, stop fighting me, dammit, just stop-"

"I have to," Sam choked out, and the sudden sob surprised even him. Once it was released, though, the floodgates opened, and he couldn't stop, even while he kept struggling, eyes on the gun. "I have to do this, Dean, you know I-I have to before I turn and let me go let me-"

"Not gonna happen," Dean grunted, "and I don't just mean the gun, either. You're not going darkside-"

"You said I would!" Sam shouted with hitched breaths, and Dean's stunned face was enough for Sam to pull away just enough to almost reach the gun.

Arms wrapped around his, pulling his arms firmly against his body, even while he was being pulled up and away from the gun. "No no no, let me go, I have to...I won't be...I have to..."

When his words finally tapered off, the tears slowed, and he could breathe again, Sam realized he was being held, cradled, and gently rocked. Above him was a litany of words, all whispered.

"-sorry, god Sammy I didn't mean it I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Sammy, I'm sorry-"

No hesitation with these words. Spoken with the same firmness, the same belief and sincerity. But...

Sam shut his eyes and leaned further into Dean. Dean's voice suddenly halted, and before he could say anything, Sam spoke up. "I thought you did," he asked, his voice rough and shredded. "Mean it."

"Yeah, I'm getting that," Dean replied, but the sarcasm was spoken with a trembling tone. "I didn't, though."

Nothing was making any sense, which Sam was sure had to do with crying for...god knew how long. But his insides still felt twisted up with anxiousness and hurt, and he spoke again, softer this time. "But you-"

"I know, but I was..." There was a quiet sigh above him, before Dean continued with regret. "You weren't leaving, Sam. Lilith was coming, and considering who Chuck wound up being I knew damn right well that she was coming, and you weren't...you weren't leaving. I was angry and I was freakin' scared, and I lashed out before I had a chance to think it through.

"But I didn't mean it," Dean said softly, and Sam thought he felt Dean's arms tighten impossibly further around him. "I swear, Sam. I don't think you'll go darkside. Maybe. But I don't believe it. I really don't. You just...can't. You're Sammy. I don't care if you went and grew up while I was gone and can handle yourself, you're still the Sammy I know. And that Sammy won't ever turn."

Not with Dean standing by his side. Sam finally opened his eyes, the lids swollen and tender. "You better mean that," he whispered. "Because you're not getting a do-over."

Dean snorted a hitched laugh, and when Sam glanced up, Dean's eyes were red and shining. "No, no do-overs, promise," Dean said, giving Sam a small smile. It fell away in the next moment, and Dean swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, Sammy. God, I almost stopped to get something out of the trunk before I came back in." He clenched his eyes shut and pulled Sam back in, with Sam freeing his arms enough to hold onto Dean.

The world seemed to tilt back to the right side up. Dean hadn't abandoned him, and Sam wasn't the only one fighting against a possible future of turning evil.

He wouldn't. Not with Dean. Not with his big brother clinging to him as much as he was clinging to Dean.

END
Danipinkphoenix1985 on April 12th, 2009 08:52 pm (UTC)
wow Neb!! this is so powerful! I just watched a vid that someone put together of the boys and they used a voiceover of Sam's that said that Dean always has his back, etc and this drabble was so spot on!
(no subject) - authoressnebula on April 14th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
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Not Quite by Firelight: Butterfly effecttahirire on April 12th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC)
*runs around the room*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

Yes, see, now, even though I don't think Sam would kill himself(without taking out Lilith in the bargain) I DO really, REALLY need Dean to realize the truth in this. If Sam has no anchor, he's lost.

*sobs*
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LissaAnn: chibi brotherslissa_ann on April 19th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)
And It All Comes Back To You, part 1
And here's my take on it...

Sam, Dean. Gen.

Post 4.18, Sam falls apart and tries to kill himself because of the events of the last few months. He doesn't want to go darkside, and believes he will because of Dean's comment about it.

Dean stops him and comforts his younger brother.

Another 1800+ word comment. Damn.

-----

And It All Comes Back To You

For Sam, it's always been knives.

When Dean was learning how to aim and shoot and clean guns, Sam was sharpening knives, getting used to hand to hand combat. Dean liked not having to get close, being able to take things out from a good distance. But it was Sam who learned to appreciate what a knife could do.

And what it could do for him now.

You think I'll do it, don't you? You think I'll go darkside.

Yes! Okay, yes. The way you've been acting lately, the things you've been doing. Oh, I know. How you ripped Alistair apart like it was nothing, like you were swatting a fly. Cas told me, okay?

What else did he tell you?

Nothing I don't already know. That you've been using your psychic crap and you've been getting stronger, we just don't know why and we don't know how.

It's not what you think.

Then what is it, Sam? 'Cause I'm at a total loss.


He and Lilith had hit an impasse. Sam thought about making a deal, even made her think that he was going to go through with it. In the end, it was Chuck and his archangel that ended things, not Sam. And Lilith had gotten away.

Dean left the room after the confrontation, silent and angry. Sam knew he was probably going to go get drunk off his ass so that he could forget the last 24 hours, which left Sam with way too much time on his hands to contemplate his recent failures.

Dean, who had believed for so long that he could keep Sam safe, that he could keep from going darkside, now admitted that yes, he thought Sam's demon blood would change him into something he should never be. He had failed trying to kill Lilith. He had failed at being honest with his brother and just being a brother. He'd failed by giving into the temptation and drinking Ruby's blood. He was a failure and worse yet, he was a burden.

Sam took his favorite hunting knife out of his duffel and removed it from the sheath. He played with it a little, twirling it around. He pointed the tip to his left wrist and lightly drew it from palm to elbow, barely even leaving a mark.

It's not like he hasn't thought about this before. When Dean refused to kill him, the thought raced through his head. He should have done it back then, before everything had fallen apart.

It was really the only acceptable action at this point. He couldn't continue to put Dean through this, and Dean pretty much didn't need him anymore. He had Cas. Cas would look after him and keep him safe, better than Sam could. It was time now for Sam to just slip away.

He grabbed his knife, found the medical kit and went into the bathroom. He stared into his dull, lifeless eyes in the mirror, then down at his wrists. He opened the med kit and pulled out some topical lidocaine, covering the inside of his lower arms and waited for the medication to numb his skin. He started to run a bath, as hot as he could stand it. He stripped, and then hesitated, just for a moment.

He took two sleeping pills from the bottle in the med kit, then started with his right wrist. He knew that would be the most difficult because he was right handed. He had enough practice, though, that he was able to cut a relatively straight line up his arm. He watched as the blood began to run down his arm into the sink. He didn't even feel the knife in his arm, which he knew would happen. Part of him felt like he shouldn't have used the lidocaine, that he deserved the hurt that the knife would cause, but this was better. No feeling. No feelings inside him and no feeling in the end. He cut his left arm, a neat, straight cut. He slowly got into the bathtub, not able to fully stretch out because of his size. He crossed his legs and submerged his arms to speed up the bleeding. The water began turning pink almost immediately. He tipped his head back onto the tile and closed his eyes. Soon, it would be all over.



Edited at 2009-04-19 08:26 pm (UTC)
Allie: pbfate supernatural blue skypbfate on June 6th, 2009 02:24 am (UTC)
Re: And It All Comes Back To You, part 1
NOOO!! DEAN NEEDS TO SAVE HIM! Oh my gosh. This is so intense, is that the end?! Saaaaam! You make me so sad for him!

I loved the use of dialogue from the show, that was a really good touch.

It's not like he hasn't thought about this before. When Dean refused to kill him, the thought raced through his head. He should have done it back then, before everything had fallen apart.

You seriously broke my heart with this fic. There needs to be a part 2 in which Dean saves Sam! It's too tragic to be over!

Really wonderful fic, thank you so much for sharing! ♥
LissaAnn: chibi brotherslissa_ann on June 6th, 2009 03:09 am (UTC)
Re: And It All Comes Back To You, part 1
Thank you! :D

Part two is here and part three is here. Sorry, it was too long for just one comment.
LissaAnn: chibi brotherslissa_ann on April 19th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
And It All Comes Back To You, part 2
Dean had been out for two hours, drinking, trying to forget what was happening, trying to bury everything. He sat at the bar, mulling over what he had said to Sam. The words telling Sam that yes, he thought Sam was going to go darkside came out of his mouth without thinking. He was scared, things were moving too fast. He wanted to believe Sam in the worst way. Regardless of what was going on, Sam was still his brother. He paid his bar tab and headed back to the motel.

When Dean opened the door, he saw Sam's duffel on the bed, but didn't see him in the room. He looked over and saw the bathroom door closed. He knocked on the door. "Sam?" Silence. "Sammy?" He knocked on the door as he called him. When there was still no answer, he tried the knob. The door was unlocked. He opened the door and frozen for a moment with what he saw. He ran over to the side of the tub and started to shake Sam. "Sammy? Sammy, c'mon, dude, open up your eyes." Sam's head rolled from side to side. Dean reached up and felt for Sam's pulse, which was a little sluggish, but was there. Dean realized he didn't have much time to waste. He pulled Sam out of he tub with difficulty and dragged him over to the bed Sam normally took. "God damn it, Sam." Dean debated whether he should call an ambulance or not. In the end, he felt he didn't have a choice; he had no idea what Sam had taken or how long it would take for him to wake up. He also needed more stitches than Dean thought he could finish in time. He worked quickly to staunch the bleeding from both arms, and waited for the ambulance.

It took longer than Dean thought it would for the ambulance to arrive. They drilled him with questions while they made sure Sam's airway was clear and started IVs. They loaded Sam onto the gurney and Dean grabbed his keys to follow in the Impala.

Dean took the time to register Sam at the hospital, despite the fact that he wanted to be beside Sam. They kept Dean in the waiting room for over two hours. Every time he saw a nurse, he tried to see if he could get any information, but no one would tell him anything. Finally, a doctor came out of the ER door. "Dean…Marchand?"

"Yes?"

"Your brother Sam is stable. We've sutured his arms – he's going to have scars, no doubt about it. We don't know what he took, so we're pumping his stomach as we speak to make sure to nullify any overdose he took."

"Is he conscious?"

"Not yet. You're welcome to come in, though if you'd like."

Dean nodded and followed the doctor to Sam's room. Sam was on the stretcher, eyes closed. He was hooked up to monitors, beeps counting out his heartbeats. A tube had been inserted in his nose. Dean had no idea what that was for, but his heart broke a little when he saw Sam lying there so still.

It felt like an eternity before he heard Sam began to cough and opened his eyes. He looked around panicked, not sure where he was or who was around him. Finally his eyes fixed on Dean briefly before dropping his head to avoid that look on Dean's face.

"God damn it, Sam. What the fuck?"

"Dean, don't," Sam whispered. "Just let it go."

"Let it go?! LET IT GO?!" Dean stood and began to pace in the small room. "What if I had decided to stay later at the bar? What if I decided to go home with someone?"

"Then I wouldn't be here, just like it was meant to be."

LissaAnn: chibi brotherslissa_ann on April 19th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
And It All Comes Back To You, part 3
"NO! It's NOT meant to be like that."

"C'mon, Dean. If the choices are dead or darkside, we all know what the option is."

"You're not going to go darkside. I won't let you."

Sam snorted. "That's funny. Last time I talked to you, you said I was going to turn."

Dean ran his hand over his face and sighed. He sat down next to Sam and took his hand. "Sammy, I didn't mean it. I was scared and angry and I took it out on you."

"But you've been thinking it. You never would have said it if you hadn't been thinking about it."

He gripped Sam's hand tighter. "Yes, it's crossed my mind," Dean said quietly. "That still doesn't mean it has to happen, Sam."

"But you're afraid of me now."

"Sammy, I'm afraid for you. I know what you've done, dude, and I know that it makes you feel powerful, but you've got to know what you're doing isn't right."

"Can we not have a morals lesson right now?"

"Please promise me you won't do this again."

Sam looked down.

"Sammy, please. I…I can't do it again. I can't. I've got nothing left to make a deal with, and I can't watch you die again. I'd follow right behind you, dude, Cas and Zachariah be damned."

"Cas'll take care of you. He'll make sure nothing happens."

"He's not you, Sammy. Who's gonna fight beside me? Who's gonna cover my ass when I need it?"

Sam sat quietly and looked at his hands, folded on top of the blanket. "You don't trust me."

"Sammy, c'mon. I was angry at you for being reckless and taking Lilith on without backup and I was scared she was going to annihilate you. It's the same as it's always been, though. You're my little brother and if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna save you. No matter what. I promise you that." He took Sam's chin in his hand and pulled Sam's head up. "Look at me, Sam." He had trouble meeting Dean's eyes. "You listen, and you listen to me good. This NEVER happens again. NEVER. Bottom line is, I can't live without you. Please don't make me."

Sam nodded. "How 'bout we see if we can get me out of here."

"Promise me, Sam."

Sam took a deep breath. "I promise."

"Was that so hard?"

"Yeah, it was. I don't want to hurt you, Dean."

"You won't. I won't let you." He ran his hand through his hair. "Now, c'mon. Enough of these chick-flick moments. I'll be right back."

Sam watched Dean leave the room. He hoped his brother was right. He really hoped his brother could save him.

Edited at 2009-04-19 08:24 pm (UTC)
klutzy_girlklutzy_girl on April 20th, 2009 02:08 pm (UTC)
Re: And It All Comes Back To You, part 3
Thanks so much! I loved this a lot.
LissaAnn: chibi brotherslissa_ann on April 20th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC)
Re: And It All Comes Back To You, part 3
YAY! I'm really glad to hear that.